Food and Catering

The task of finding a good caterer let alone the perfect caterer for your wedding can be a daunting task. Some wedding venues like major hotel chains require you to order the food from their onsite restaurant. Its easy and efficient and takes the whole selection work out of your busy schedule but then your are limited to the standard menu. One golf club had fried zucchini and cheese sticks and the other had surf and turf. Sure you can pick from their limited menu but the list is listless.

Other venues give you the flexibility to choose your own caterer or to select from their narrowed down list of preferred vendors. The idea of preferred caterers at first can be intimidating, maybe even suggesting kick backs to the venue for recommending them (politely called a referral fee). But preferred vendors are generally repeatedly working with the same venue and know all the ins and outs of the site…. everything from where to find the electrical outlets to where the extra stock of champagne glasses are stored when a drunk guest accidentally bumps into the table and breaks twenty like a perfect domino effect of a bowling ball toss. These vendors have used the dishwasher on numerous occasions to know which buttons to push and conversely know which one of the venue manager’s buttons not to push. The venue manager trusts them and is willing to work with them on exceptions to the rule such as allowing the caterer to show up early or pick up their supplies the next day. These little conveniences in turn result in happier vendors helping with your wedding reception.

Passed hors d'houevres

Our Story: We had to select a caterer among a list of 12 preferreds. First I looked at their websites to get ideas, followed by initial calls to each to get price ranges. To do this, you need to have an idea of the type of menu you’re looking for and let the first caterer you chat with guide you through thinking about quantities and selection. Once you have that in mind, to compare apples to apples, you ask each subsequent caterer for a quote based on the intial selection. And if you like their price you then ask their opinion on the selection and if they have recommendations to improve the selection or make it more unique.

We knew upfront that given our early afternoon wedding we wanted to host a cocktail party reception with passed hors d’hoeuvres. I had to be very firm with the caterer to remind them on a regular basis that passed hors d’hoeuvres did not mean a combination of passed and stationary ones. I did not want to see people shmearing cheese on crackers while the cracker split and half of it landed in the next person’s lap. Leave it to the caterers and they will understandably take the most economical route from a resource perspective. But there’s an air of elegance I was seeking and wanted to maintain that image of cranberry bread crostini with goat cheese or mini cheese gougeres instead of a cheese platter with cheddar cheese and supermarket crackers.

Should you opt for the surf and turf and full sit down dinner, you still need to work with your caterer to make sure their menu idea matches yours. Ask what kind of rolls they serve and when you go to a tasting to narrow down your top three caterers based on flavor and presentation, ask to see portion sizes and don’t be shy to ask them to substitute walnuts for almonds in the green salad if that’s what you like. Your wedding menu should represent the foods that are you and if you’re a gourmand that’s what the guests come to expect. And if you normally met my friends for dinner at TGIF, maybe fried zucchini sticks with tomato sauce would not be a bad idea.

Reception Music

Live music adds an element of style and sophistication to your wedding. It also adds significant costs. There are many Agencies that offer a variety of professional artists that can perform at your wedding. Expect hefty fees though which could easily reach $1000 or more.

Tip: Book musicians through your local Conservatory of Music

Most conservatories of music provide talented students to play or sing at your wedding. They have successfully completed a rigorous audition to enter the Conservatory so you are assured performances by top-notch musicians at extremely affordable fees. Typical fees are $90.00 per musician for 1 hour engagements.

Our food, music, and photography vendors

Our Story: After contacting the Conservatory of Music in San Francisco, a solo guitar seemed to be the best option for our wedding reception given our budget, music preference, and the fact that our reception location did not allow for any amplified music in the outdoor area. To asses the skills of the graduate student that was assigned to us, we agreed to meet in a park on a Sunday morning. When we approached the corner where we were supposed to meet, there wasn't anybody in sight who looked like a Classical Music graduate. However, there was what appeared to be a homeless guy - worn out clothes, a beard and in dyer need of an haircut - sitting on a bench with a guitar case in his lap. My fiancee whispered in my ear "If that is our musician, let's just walk by and try to find somebody else". As it turned out, the homeless guy was our guitar student. Despite his appearance, his play was fabulous and a nice suit took care of the rest.. :)

Out-of-Town Guest accomodations

In the not-so-distant past, it was common for most people to grow up within a few blocks of grandparents, aunts, uncles and assorted cousins. While this kind of idyllic situation certainly still exists today, it's much more likely that your friends and family will be somewhat more far-flung.

If you'd like to offer Accommodations for your out-of-town guests, the first option that comes to mind is making Hotel reservations. However, I suggest a beter option:

Tip: Find a vacation Apartment or House in your neighborhood

By browsing local ads in your Newspaper or on Craigslist, you will find that in cities like San Francisco there are many short-term rental apartments on the market. Those apartment do not only offer more privacy, the also have the convenience of a Kitchen which can be instrumental in a cost effective stay for your friends and family. Some houses or apartments are even big enough to host more than one family or group of friends. This will allow your guests to get to know other guests before the wedding and will make the wedding an even more enjoyable, social and memorable occasion!

Guest house with deck and gorgeous views

Our Story: While looking for a place to stay for our family, we stumbled accross a three bedroom house that was just perfect for our guests from Europe. It turned out that the house had an gigantic deck with gorgeous views of downtown San Francisco.
When negotiating the price with the owner, we told her that our guests were older adults who appreciated a quiet stay. We really wanted the place and thought that this would address any worries the owner might have about disturbing the neighbors. After seeing the deck and realizing that the owner would be away during the stay of our guests would stay, we quickly decided that the deck would be the perfect location for our rehearsal dinner, especially as our own apartment would be too small to host such a dinner. Instead of having to rent a Restaurant, we catered our own rehearsal dinner, delighting the guests and our budget alike. It was such a success, that the guest house soon became the central social hub during the wedding week with many more dinners and everybody was talking about 'the party house'... Luckily, the owner did not come back early from her trip.. :)

Wedding Officiant

Planning a wedding involves making choices and many decisions. Choosing a wedding officiant is important because you want him or her to set the right tone for your ceremony in order to reflect the character of your relationship and wedding.

Before selecting an officiant, first decide whether or not you want to have a religious ceremony, include others to perform readings and/or music, and want to get married outdoors, indoors or in a church or other religious building. The next step is to find an officiant that can facilitate your choices.

An quick and easy way to find officiants in your area is to use one of the many online directories. For a more intimate and personal ceremony, consider a close friend or family member to officiate your wedding. They will have the most personal knowledge about you and your partner.

Tip: Relatives or friends can become ordained as an wedding official through the Universal Life Church

Marriage laws vary in each state; sometimes even county to county so it's important to be familiarized with the requirements set forth by your local and state government. Contact the local government agency that issues the marriage license and ask what is required of the minister who will perform the marriage ceremony. In order for a marriage to be legal, the wedding ceremony must include the Declaration of Intent (commonly recognized as the “Do you take..." and "I do” exchange) and after performing the wedding, completion of the marriage license. This usually requires the signatures of two witnesses and the officiant, in addition to those of the couple.

Our Story: My dad who used to be a part-time wedding official in Holland, married my three sisters. Because we wanted to get our families involved in the wedding ceremony, we approached my dad to lead our ceremony in California. Initially, he felt a bit intimidated because he wanted to make sure that officiating a marriage in a for him foreign country would be legal. By using the Universal Life Church ordination, this hurdle was cleared and nothing seemed to be able to stop us from complying with all legal requirements. It wasn't until after the wedding was over and one of our two witnesses was about to leave in her car to catch a flight to Chicago, we realized that she hadn't signed the marriage license! On the now empty bar counter we signed the license making sure that our marriage would work on paper as well :)

Flowers

Elegant but simple centerpiece

Stay tuned for information about flowers and centerpieces..